I always feel amazed and at the same time, feel jealous of how a person can be so open in talking with others for hours without any awkward or silent moment. Ever since i went out from my hometown to a stranger country that i never step on it before, in order to improve and make myself engage and know more people, I always observe people surround me; of they way the speak, the way the communicate with each other, the way they talk, the way they behave, and the way the engage in a conversation. However, whenever i talk with my friends or even new people that i know, i always have this awkward feeling and awkward moment with them.
Based on some article that i gathered, this type of person is categorized under Socially Awkward Person. This is due to Lack of Knowledge and Not Understanding Social Norms. This type of people often find difficulties in picking up some topic of conversation with others, what to talk about and when, or what is it suited a joke and what it is not. This will obviously will lead to either weird or shy behaviour.
i always feel amazed with Caucasians people, particularly in Australia (As it is the only country that i went other than States or Europe). They can easily break the ice and create an immediate conversation with you. Many of them, they will always greet you with, "Hi there, How are you today?" or "Hi, How's it going?". as simple as just that casual talk, it can create a topic within two individuals.
People do suggest me to start reading more books, particularly in Positive Attitude and Self Development books. However, beyond this basic principles, everything else can only be learn through experience. that's why for myself, i always try to mix with people who are socially savvy, and learn from them indirectly. Make new friends, meet new people, make new conversation, experiment. Apart from friendship, i believe there's always some positive thing to pick up from them, and developing your social confidence.
with this, Self-Awareness plays apart. They say the first step is to admitting you have a problem, and that is the truth in every aspects of life, as simple as that. Self-awareness is about understanding your own needs, desires, failings, habits, and everything else that makes you tick. The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting life changes that suit your needs.
Essentially, by paying more attention to your own emotions and how you work, the better you will understand why you do the things you do. The more you know about your own habits, the easier it is to improve on those habits.
It is always easier to create negative conversation with your friends in order to talk more and longer. However, you have the choice to join in with the negative around them, or you can change to topic to a positive one. For example; instead of gossiping about your fellow friends or colleagues, why not share with them about their Good side of them and create a meaningful conversations about the people. By creating positive talk with others, subconsciously, it will also encourage the people around you to do the same.
And always remember, A good friends will not talk about their bad things behind their back.
Apart from gossip, we have to realized that we have our own problem as well. By sharing your own problem or your own happiness to the close one, you created one topic that people may aware and care more about you or even will join your happiness in the future, indirectly.
to conclude this, not many people have self-awareness in themselves, however, if you have open and trusting close friends with you, you can ask them for feedback about your personality, habits, needs, emotions, strength, weakness and values. Although they will not give you an accurate assessment, at least they play apart to build your own-self, and help you to be you. With this, by knowing your own values, who you are, and a vision of a person you want to become, you create self-development. And with this, you will motivate yourself more and manage your stress better, helps you with your intuitive decision making, and help you to lead and motivates others indirectly. Self-awareness is very useful.
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